The Bucket Stops Here

Here are some facts:

• There are 73 international airports in the United States.
• There is an average of 30 metal detectors in each airport – but as we all know usually there is more empty security lanes then working lanes, so lets call it 15 lanes per airport.
• There are 43,000 security officers working for the TSA.
• There are usually 2 work shifts per day at the airport. Giving the TSA the benefit of the doubt, well say there are 2.5 work shifts per day.

With this information, I can deduce the following:

• An average of 590 security officers are working daily throughout the countries airports.
• Allocating 2.5 daily work shifts per day, the TSA has 236 agents working in a single airport at the same time.
• 236 security agents at 15 “working” security lanes puts roughly 15 agents working per lane IF all the numbers favor the TSA and they usually do not.

I repeat… FIFTEEN AGENTS PER LANE.

If that is the case, why the fuck do two “working” security lanes, right next to one another, have no bins for me to unload ALL of the contents of my traveling life?



Graham was right about the acronym. TSA = Thousands Standing Around.

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One Response to The Bucket Stops Here

  1. Anonymous says:

    I’m sorry that your travel plans were delayed whilst we took a quick tea break.

    Perhaps next time, when you’d wish to breeze through our checkpoints, if you were to wear your ‘banana hammock’ we’d be more inclined to hasten your departure.

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