12 Months of The Capts – September

Obviously, The Capts lost a day in the ongoing posting of the 2012 calendar illustrations, but there was a good reason. Upon completing a joyous and celebratory New Years Eve at RokBar in Las Vegas, we decided to find our way back to Los Angeles in the early hours of the morning, pushing along the blacktop to beat the rising sun in lieu of joining the droves of revelers who would trade eight hours in traffic for a mere three at 100 mph. T’was harrowing but we made it. And some sleep in the fashion of Nosferatu was the order of the day.

But now we will compensate with a few choice words about our August artwork, which is certainly a fave since it hits so close to home for all those who spend countless hours on airplanes. Simply stated, The Capts refrain from speaking with fellow travelers on uneventful flights and that agenda would remain constant during any violent water landings; we just wouldn’t tolerate your banal conversation in the confines of a life raft. Sorry.

In fact, many of our exit row fantasies involve closing the escape hatch behind us as we make our way to safety! There’s seven billion people on this earth and surely we can do away with some!

There is plenty of hidden imagery in the August drawing and one would certainly be well-served to purchase a calendar for themselves. Just pay a visit to The Capts Online Haberdashery and have a feast!

Speaking of feasts, we now present the artwork for September, complete with Christopher Lee and some cornucopias. Enjoy…

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12 Months of The Capts – August

Of those that have enjoyed the July artwork, the most common remark regards the fact that The Capts are NOT in the image. Au contraire mon frère! We grace the area along the base, each of us at one end of the long chippendale table, in the fashion of fabled CIA operative and New Orleans fixture Clay Shaw (né Clay Bertrand), whenst entertaining.

We don’t have any particular attachment to France, nor its history. I don’t even like cake really, and would much rather share the bread associated with La Fête Nationale and those behind it.

And before presenting our 8th illustration, I shall again direct your attention to The Capts Online Haberdashery where one can secure their own 2012 calendar to enjoy all year.

The Capts have so much to say about the business of airlines and the banal experience of l’aéroport, so the artwork for August tickles us pink…

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12 Months of The Capts – July

If you recognized our JUNE artwork as a variation of the famous Spirit of ’76 painting, then consider yourself more patrician than plebeian. If you just thought it was some heterosexually-challenged peacocking, then perhaps avoid Disneyworld on these dates.

Many people ask The Capts why we delve into these areas, and our answer usually orbits around “We know what we like behind the closed doors of a boudoir; the rest is minutiae.” And at times it can be challenging to stick to these guns, especially upon completion of a hood set and, when asked for a mix CD, receiving the look of absolute confusion as patrons absorb the artwork of Mas Trabajo, for instance. But whatevs.

At this point, we are halfway through the year as far as unveiling The Capts 2012 calendar and if you haven’t been inspired to secure one by now, I’m not sure you ever will be. Visit our Online Haberdashery and test your willpower!

Anywho, summoning all francophiles; ’tis time to unveil what July has in store for us. Let them eat cake…

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12 Months of The Capts – June

And that was our MAY image, a celebration at Churchill Downs in a fashion worthy of Bond villain Max Zorin. He’s included in the artwork, by the way, but it will require Waldo-like skills of perception to locate him, and his female cohort May Day, appropriately named.

The irony here is that every year, plenty of DJs get booked in Louisville during that time of year, yet somehow The Capts get overlooked. The annual Kentucky Derby is as far from the degenerate culture of OTB as one can get and still bet the ponies, and I’d be curious to peruse results of a Gallup Poll detailing which fixtures of nightlife are familiar with the ins-and-outs of said equestrian sport. Perhaps things will change when Luck hits HBO, but in the meantime, all The Capts have are fond memories of life before the hectic schedules, spent at Hollywood Park, dividing time between the races and the Friday Night concerts, featuring the likes of Cameo and The Time.

But I digress here in exchange for an opportunity to direct your attention to The Capts Online Haberdashery where you can purchase one of the 2012 calendars for yourself.

Plus, I can now present the artwork for June, which has by far incurred the most discussion by those who have viewed the entire product. Enjoy…

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12 Months of The Capts – May

So, that artwork for April really earns empathy from all those who view it — unless you work for the IRS…or the TSA…or the DOT…or any other entity that sustains itself feeding upon the misery of others. But hey, everybody has to earn, and The Capts have no doubt inflicted some level of misery themselves by playing any number of horrendous pop songs night after night…miserable to those with a little taste in music, anyway. But for the rest of you: carry on!

The image in question leaves little to be interpreted, but it should be noted that it was necessary to portray the act as “over the top” so as to NOT be misunderstood as some sort of domestic terrorist threat against the Tax Man. Just having some fun, guys! Promise! Paying my quarterly taxes is the highlight of each season!

But we now move on to lighter faire, which is the illustration for the month of May. And by the way — if you are tired of these short passages or simply cannot wait for us to reveal these drawings one day at a time, feel free to visit The Capts Online Haberdashery and purchase a 2012 calendar. The proceeds go to a good cause: beach front property in Uruguay.

Anyway…did somebody say “Max Zorin, French industrialist?”

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12 Months of The Capts – April

So that illustration for March, as I’m sure you agree, is worthy of a high end art gallery, or at least a high quality garment. Oui? So simple, yet so complex.

The 90210 imagery is self-explanatory; and everybody knows Steve Sanders drives a Corvette with the license plate I8A4RE. But the idea for The Capts superimposition was inspired by this obscure Young & Restless album cover, which I’ve always been intrigued with.

By this point, I can’t imagine one wouldn’t be uncontrollably driven to secure a 2012 calendar for themselves to enjoy, accomplished with immense ease, by going here: The Capts Online Haberdashery.

But first soak in the artwork for April…

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12 Months of The Capts – March

As you saw, for February, we split Mount Rushmore into those sans facial hair and those avec, Stone joining the ranks of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, while I invoked 21st Prez Arthur Chester to keep step with Theodore Roosevelt and Old Honest Abe.

And how timely for The Capts to celebrate President’s Day in an election year? If you require one of our calendars so that you may do the same, just visit The Capts Online Haberdashery.

So then we come to the artwork for March, which is incredible to me, and readily calls this to mind. Enjoy…

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12 Months of The Capts – February

I hope January whetted some appetites. And if it truly advertised a film, I would certainly buy a ticket to see just how these two condescending assholes escape Sodom & Gomorrah one step ahead of the breath of God, and with Baby New Year in tow, no less.

And in an instance of art imitating life imitating art, The Capts plan to implement thematic elements of the January artwork this coming NYE, in which we shall revel to the limits of possibility at Rok Bar, only to disappear into the waning darkness, arriving safely at home long before the peasantry turn the usual three hour exodus from Vegas into an eight hour hejira.

Again, if you are interested in securing a calendar for yourself, it is very easy. Just pay a visit to The Capts Online Haberdashery

And with that said, here is the artwork from the month of February…

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12 Months of The Capts – January

By now, many people have received a copy of the 2012 Captains of Industry calendar. But we have heard from many who long to possess, and even more who are simply curious as to what it is exactly. So over the next twelve days, we shall reveal the artwork found within its ostrich skin covers.

The concept was simple: choose a joyous holiday for each month and depict that date in a fashion suitable of The Capts, not unlike the James Bond and exploitation movie posters of days gone by.

It was a labor of love, brought to fruition with some help from our friends at Red Bull and Eyerus.

If you are so inclined, feel free to secure one of our 2012 calendars yourself: The Capts Online Haberdashery

And here is January, in which we celebrate the chaos left in our wake après the NYE festivities…

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Look A Like: Employees Only

“Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of men?” — The Shadow

Just as many have wondered what transpires behind the shroud of the noble DJ booth, similar thoughts run through mon tête whilst killing time in the que prior to removal of everything on my person.

So close…yet…so far away…

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