Paging Dr Rosenpenis … Dr Rosen … Dr Rosen Rosen

The dj booth is not an information desk and the night club is not an airport.

Here is a conversation I had last night which I did not embellish and wrote down word for word in my phone to keep its authenticity.

•• Female ••
“HEY… HEY… … … HEY!?!”

•• StoneRokk ••
“WHAT?!”

•• Female ••
“I can’t find my friend”

•• StoneRokk ••
“You should probably start looking for her then.”

•• Female ••
“Well… Can you page Stacey and tell her to come to our table.”

•• StoneRokk ••
(blank stare)

•• Female ••
(blank stare which is actually just her face)

•• StoneRokk ••
“NO”

•• Female ••
“But… “(turns to a gentleman to her left)

•• Gentleman ••
“YOYO”

•• StoneRokk ••
“That’s not my name”

•• Gentleman ••
“Yea ok… this is my girl. I play for the Toronto Raptors. Give her what she wants. I’ll take care of you.”

(Side note to my African-American brethren: Just because you are TALL-AS-FUCK, and you are talking down to a white person, does not mean your default job is NBA jock)

•• StoneRokk ••
“If you have to tell me who you are or who you play for, chances are very high that you are not as important as you think.”

•• Gentleman ••
(blank stare which is actually just his face)

Needless to say, I did not beckon Stacey nor was I “taken care of”.

I sometimes wonder what goes through people’s head when they approach the DJ given the types of non-music related requests I get. “Where’s the bathroom?”, “do you have a pen?”, “shout out my birthday/bachelor party”… On that note, no one else in the club cares for the reason you are the drunkest person in the club, nor do they care to hear you and your (insert Christian Audigier design of choice here) cloaked cronies hooting and hollering in the event the DJ does pity you enough to mention your existence. Just have a good time and shut the fuck up.

Anyways… Where in the hell is the records room??

Post Script – I am developing major feelings against sunglasses in the club. They are SUN-GLASSES.

This entry was posted in General Education. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Paging Dr Rosenpenis … Dr Rosen … Dr Rosen Rosen

  1. Knyewman says:

    “B-1” hahahahahaha!!! Dope movie!

  2. Celeste says:

    developing? just barely?

  3. Mike Snedegar says:

    I LOOOOOOOOVE YOU SCROOGE

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *