Monthly Archives: February 2011

@shitdj

Because rumors continue to persist, I will address this matter here, and it will be the last time I address it: I am NOT @shitdj, nor is Graham Funke. In order to stress this fact, I will repeat it: I … Continue reading

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Move Funky Moped

“When I’m on me moped rockin’ and a-sockin’, everywhere I go the chicks are movin’ and a-groovin’, wigglin’ and a-gigglin’, dancin’ and a-prancin’, beamin’ and a-screamin’” – Jasper Carrott My favored method of transportation has always been my Vespa simply … Continue reading

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Actor’s Studio: Citroen

At the height of my television commercial streak, I had the pleasure of working with director Bryan Buckley on a Fed Ex campaign. And a few years later, at the height of my DJing streak, he called upon me to … Continue reading

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Banque Vault

People often ask where The Capts get their discretionary funds that provide us with such lavish luxuries like: gold sunglasses, gold nugget rings, gold chains, et al. The answer lies within a polished peccary of golden color that was forged … Continue reading

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Two Romans, One Cup

I drink scotch whilst in the privacy of mine own domicile; Johnnie Walker Blue or Suntory, specifically. And thanks to the gifting prowess of Louis Miami’s Jeremy Spund, I can imbibe in style, by way of this tumbler emblazoned with … Continue reading

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Bedroom Mazuka

The following photo, taken during MANcation 2010 in Cabo San Lucas, continues to rear its head, and in each instance, somebody thinks they are putting The Capts and DJ Five on blast by rereleasing it into the Matrix. But it’s … Continue reading

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The Thai Graham Funke

Just about a year ago, I found myself triple-booked one Friday night. For starters, I planned to hit North Carolina to DJ my man Rowshay’s wedding reception. On the other hand, I was booked at Fluxx in San Diego, which … Continue reading

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So Called Hard C*nt

Out there in Scotland lives a fine disc jock by the name of Big Al; interestingly enough, it was The Capts respective prior blogs (The Mustache Ride and Enjoy Your Life) that brought him into our cipher, thus completing a … Continue reading

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Actor’s Studio: Dunkin’ Donuts

Here is a Dunkin’ Donuts commercial I appeared in around 2003 or so. It was an interesting spot to shoot because, at that time, I had not yet sampled a Dunkin’ Donuts product; it was prior to my rigorous travel … Continue reading

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Paris of the Plains

When The Capts finish work at Mosaic in Kansas City, gent and scholar Brian Collins likes to take us to the Mutual Musicians Foundation. In addition to its 6am liquor license, the weekends promise all-night jam sessions with local and … Continue reading

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